"The One You Need"

It was written by Shane&Shane, dad to daughter so I changed the persons around to fit Ethan and me.

"Hey, hey, sweet (son)
I am so proud to be your (mother)
Each day's like a gift from God.
Hey hey sweet (son)
There's no music like your laughter
And your smile is like a rising sun.

You know I've loved you from the start
So come in close, take my hand
While (mommy) shares (her) heart.

I wish that I could be your everything
Be the one that gives you all the things you need
Sometimes I am gonna let you down
But there is One, if you just believe,
He'll be your hero like He's always been for me.
(Buddy), Jesus is the one you need.

No matter what you walk through
He will always love you
Just the way you are.
For there's nothing in this world
That I want for my baby (boy)
That you be happy ever after.

The story of your life is still untold.
I pray the King of all the universe
would make your heart His home.

I wish that I could be your everything.
Be the one that gives you all the things you need,
Sometimes I'm gonna let you down.
But there is One, if you just believe,
He'll be your hero like He's always been for me.
(Buddy), Jesus is the one...

Who will never leave, He's been there all along
Oh, when you're ready, you can find the Lord

I wish that I could be your everything.
Be the one that gives you all the things you need,
Sometimes I'm gonna let you down.
But there is One, if you just believe,
He'll be your hero like He's always been for me.
(Buddy), Jesus is the one you need."

11 Months

I cannot even begin to fathom where these last 11 months have gone. I cannot even begin to fathom how you'll be a year in just a month. I know that time will continue to fly by me, and I already miss the times you used to cuddle with me and sit with me - all you want to do is play and run (which is really funny since you've just begun to walk!). I love that instead of giving me kisses you at least give me hugs, and they are the best hugs I've ever received in my whole life. I can handle not getting kisses (especially since they're still the open mouth kind!! Silly boy!) because I know eventually you'd be too big to give them anyway, but I hope you never stop hugging me! I'm excited for our future, I'm excited to continue to watch you grow and learn - it's such a fun process to relearn things with you.

I'm so excited for your first birthday. It's been so much fun to plan and I can't wait to see it in action.

I love you ECT, you make my world so much brighter.

"I'll Show You How to Live"

I heard the sound of your first breath
a brand new life on your mother’s chest,
a beating heart, expectant eyes,
on the first day of your life.

I saw you take your first step
and I watched you run with no regret,
to chase your dreams and find true love
and the best is yet to come.

So come with Me,
I'll show you life
even better than this.
Come with Me,
I'll show you love
you didn’t know could exist.
Better than your first crush,
better than your first kiss,
I'll show you how to live.

Remember how you felt from across the room
when you realized someone had eyes for you?
And the way your heart sang 'cause you believed
you were worth something.

So come with Me,
I'll show you life
even better than this.
Come with Me,
I'll show you love
you didn’t know could exist.
Better than your first crush,
better than your first kiss,
I'll show you how to live.
Oh, I'll show you how to live.

'Cause I created your heart
that makes you feel.
I am the love that makes it real.

Oh, I am the One, I'm the One, I'm the One
I am the One, I'm the One, I'm the One

So come with Me,
I'll show you life
even better than this.
Come with Me,
I'll show you love
you didn’t know could exist.
Better than your first crush,
better than your first kiss,
I'll show you how to live.

Oh, I am the One, I'm the One, I'm the One
I am the One, I'm the One, I'm the One
~Sanctus Real

Sloppy Kisses

You gave me two big kisses last night when I picked you up from the babysitter (aka Nana Pauletta). It took me by surprise! I picked you up and you leaned in and gave me two big open mouth drool kisses ... best thing ever!! I only wish there was a camera on hand to have captured that moment - but I know there will be plenty more to come!

You also have become a pro at pulling yourself up and standing. It's been so much fun to watch. We have a gate and you pulled yourself up and you got upset because you couldn't go anywhere or do anything else and you started to cry and from the other side of the gate it looked like you were stuck in jail! So cute!

Last night you found a shipping box, you flipped it over a few times and then you began to walk/push it around the dinner table.

I can't wait to get home from class tonight and get some more sloppy kisses and watch you move!

I <3 You, ECT.

Creepin Crawl

You are a mess ... you crawl all over the place, not really sure what you're looking for. Finding things along the way (mainly dog toys and bones) that make you think you've reached a goal. You only goal really is just to find things that will fit in your mouth for chewing purposes. My shoes, books, your toys, the dog's toys. I've begun to rearrange and move things around - I knew that day would eventually come, good thing I'm done with work so now I can really rearrange.

One of your favorite spots is the coffee table ... it has spaces between the bottom shelves .... you loooove crawling through those holes - or trying to.

On top of trying to get into everything that comes across your path, you're desperately trying to figure out how to stand up. You get up on your tippy-toes, but you just can't figure out how to get your hands off the ground so you can stand! So you get soooo frustrated!

Then ... don't even get me started on how clingy you are!! LOL ... it's cute, but can take a toll on me... For example (and I have to watch how often I do this with you because I really don't want to start any "bad" behaviors in you) but I set you down right by your dad and turned to go to the store and you had a melt-down. When I turned around and saw the look on your face - it said "Why are you leaving me?!". You grab onto my shirt and won't let go. I have to say, it fills my heart with pride when you refuse to go to anyone else, but it also takes a toll on me when you won't go to anyone else. It's a love/hate relationship!

I'm so excited for our upcoming adventures together now that I have more time free. Once I get past these 30 hours of observation, it'll be me and you baby everyday!!

Love you ECT.

6 months have passed....

I can't comprehend where the last six months have gone. I don't understand how you have gotten so big, how you've developed so much.

You are 6 months old...

**ok technically you've still got a few days, but I've got time to blog now and may not then :D ...**

The little things you do just astound me, grabbing your toes - you're not too big on eating them, but you do try :) - rolling constantly, working so hard to move, you constantly want to jump, you giggle and laugh all the time, gosh Ethan, everything about you just makes me happy and fills me with so much pride and joy. I didn't realize I didn't know what that meant or truly how it felt until I had you.

My heart swells when people talk about you and how awesome you are. People constantly ask me - what did you do?? - all I can answer is - we let him be himself and got lucky! - It's true, I'm not always sure I'm being the "correct" mom, but the mom I am sure has worked out beautifully! I listen to you and your needs instead of forcing things on you and it's been a great ride.

I can tell you'll be an adventurer, you already desperately desire to be into everything! I'm excited for that first moment when you can move freely on your own, just to see what it is you want to get into so badly!

I really thank God for you because you have brought so much light into our world. I love you ECT.

Working vs Stay-At-Home

I don't care what your father says about me having to work. If I could choose, I'd spend every day with you. I love it even more now that you're active and playful. We roll on the floor together, bounce up and down. I'm totally loving it. I feel like everyday spent away from you I miss out on something. I'm so excited you rolled over when I was with you. I was terrified I'd miss this amazing moment in your growth. I also feel like you respond to me more now that I'm always with you. Maybe that's just me though....

I just continue to pray that when we move, Dad will be paid more than enough that I can stay home.... It's not like I really bring much in now anyways, but it stinks that money is so tight for us. I don't want you to grow up like that. I want you to be financially secure in the sense that we're not constantly scraping for funds. I do have to say, God has always provided for us, we've never been without when we needed something. I don't desire the things of the world, but I do desire to not have to worry when the next time I can grocery shop will be.

Sorry if this entry is such a downer, I really didn't mean it to be ... it's just this scenario has really been on my heart a lot lately and I wish I knew how to fix it for us, but it boils down to I can't have cake and pie, I have to choose.

I love you ECT.