Morning Person

If you had met me in high school, you'd know I'm not a morning person.
If you had met me in college you'd know I'm not a morning person - in fact you'd probably think I was nocturnal.
If you had met me in my first year of marriage, you'd know I still did not enjoy mornings, although I saw a lot more of them then.

Once I met you, I learned what mornings were all about. I'd rather go to bed at 10 and get up at 6 then stay up all night long. I'd rather wake up and start the day with you.

Ethan Clyde Taylor, you have changed me in so many ways it's indescribable. These are good changes too, you have made me become a better person. You've taught me lessons I think God's been trying to get through to me forever - like how to have patience and not be self-centered. You really are a gift from God. He knew exactly what He was doing - like He always does :) - when He gave me you.

I love you son.

Bills ... Bills ... Bills

"Dad, I don't want to wear your hat!"

<3

"YAAAAWWWWN!"

"Hark! Who is that I hear calling?" LOL

We got the last of the hospital bills today ... man is it expensive to birth a baby! Luckily insurance covered the majority of it - except on one bill. It's tough for us being in our financial position we're in and trying to decide how to handle the costs. Not even this though makes me wish you weren't here. I don't care the cost, you're too precious to me!

It's like people have said to us after seeing you, how can anyone purposely hurt something as small and precious as a newborn - or even a little older than that! Like I said in my last post, you amaze me at all the things you do and you have shown me another side of God that I've never experienced before.

I may feel angry about our situation, I may want to cry and yell and scream, but one look at you and I just want to curl up with you and ignore the rest of the world. You bring me such joy and peace. You really are a blessing from God.

One Month

One Month ... 28 days ... 664 hours (if my math is correct) spent taking care of you.

You've changed my life in so many ways - all of them good. I wouldn't trade any minute of the last month. You've taught me patience. You've shown me a deeper side to love and a deeper side of God.

You've also robbed us of sleep and some peace due to lack of sleep - but you've helped us grow to understand each other and our needs more.

We spent our first day away from you last Saturday - two days before you turned 1 month - it was the hardest thing for me personally as I haven't been away from you since they first placed you in my arms (other than sleeping and daddy occasionally taking you to work so I can get some more sleep ... but I don't count the moments I'm not awake because I don't have to put up with you not being there). It felt like such a long day. I did not like being free, I kept looking for you to be by my side. It drove me nuts knowing you weren't anywhere near me.

1 day old

1 month and 3 days old

One Week

It has been one week since you've entered into our lives. I still can't believe you're finally here, but at the same time it seems like you've always been here. Life is complete. It was like a missing piece I didn't realize was missing, but now if you were gone I don't know what I would do. You are so precious to me. I can't get enough of you. I want to always hold you and love on you. I love that I have two full months with you but I already know it'll be hard to leave you to go back to work. You've already surpassed every dream and preconceived notion I've had of you. You are my world now. I love you Ethan Taylor.

Day 1

Day 2Day 3Day 4Day 5Day 6Day 7

I'm excited for the day when I can give you brothers and sisters and you can share in this excitement with us.

Gilmore Girls - Sookie Overdue Baby

This is how I'm feeling ... Granted I'm not overdue LOL

Rearranging - aka Nesting

I'm not totally sure I'd consider it nesting because I've always enjoyed changing up my room - I think the most I ever moved around my room was 3 times in one year. I get bored very easily. But it also wasn't because I was just "bored". I was trying to figure out the best layout for you - and us. Especially since daddy painted your dresser the same color as the wall we were originally going to put it on. This made it necessary to move things around because it'd be WAY too much aqua-marine blue. Of course now I'm thinking I'm going to have to change the wall decor since it's liable to fall on your head - so many things to consider for your safety!!

This is like the 3rd or 4th time I've rearranged your room though. I do think I'm finally happy with the layout - it'd definitely be nice if there was just a little bit more wall space but I think it's pretty much perfect this way.

As much as I have been saying "Get your butt here now!" and I mean it 'cause I can't wait to see you and hold you and love on you, I need you to wait until we can put the rest of your things away in the dresser. Otherwise you're sharing a bed with a lot of crap ;) haha Ok, I wouldn't REALLY do that to you, but that's where it's being stored right now because I can't put it away!!

Ready and Waiting

As each day passes I think your father gets more and more antsy to meet you. He always asks me "is baby coming today??" Heh, like I have much say so in it! If I did you'd already be here with me!!

We're ready and waiting, and I think that's what really makes us antsy - especially because we just don't know when you'll decide to come! You sure have been causing me pain these last few days - preparing to make your big debut I suppose, but it's driving me nuts because it's like "are you coming or not?!" LOL

Soon.

Soon you'll be in my arms and I can love on you. I will always cherish those moments because I know with boys you grow out of it so fast.

I do hope you come early, you've got a lot of people wanting to meet you and I want you to be able to meet them! If only you knew how much you were loved before anyone "knew" you - I guess that's kind of how God works huh. He loved us before we were even thought of, loved us so much to save us from despair and eternal torture through His Son Jesus.

Being a mom gives you a new perspective, a new understanding of God and His love for us. The love I have for you is something I don't think I've ever been able to experience before and I'm grateful for the chance.

I love you my sweet baby boy. One day soon you will be in this world, in my arms and I can't wait until that day comes.