I can't comprehend where the last six months have gone. I don't understand how you have gotten so big, how you've developed so much.
You are 6 months old...
**ok technically you've still got a few days, but I've got time to blog now and may not then :D ...**
The little things you do just astound me, grabbing your toes - you're not too big on eating them, but you do try :) - rolling constantly, working so hard to move, you constantly want to jump, you giggle and laugh all the time, gosh Ethan, everything about you just makes me happy and fills me with so much pride and joy. I didn't realize I didn't know what that meant or truly how it felt until I had you.
My heart swells when people talk about you and how awesome you are. People constantly ask me - what did you do?? - all I can answer is - we let him be himself and got lucky! - It's true, I'm not always sure I'm being the "correct" mom, but the mom I am sure has worked out beautifully! I listen to you and your needs instead of forcing things on you and it's been a great ride.
I can tell you'll be an adventurer, you already desperately desire to be into everything! I'm excited for that first moment when you can move freely on your own, just to see what it is you want to get into so badly!
I really thank God for you because you have brought so much light into our world. I love you ECT.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Working vs Stay-At-Home
I don't care what your father says about me having to work. If I could choose, I'd spend every day with you. I love it even more now that you're active and playful. We roll on the floor together, bounce up and down. I'm totally loving it. I feel like everyday spent away from you I miss out on something. I'm so excited you rolled over when I was with you. I was terrified I'd miss this amazing moment in your growth. I also feel like you respond to me more now that I'm always with you. Maybe that's just me though....
I just continue to pray that when we move, Dad will be paid more than enough that I can stay home.... It's not like I really bring much in now anyways, but it stinks that money is so tight for us. I don't want you to grow up like that. I want you to be financially secure in the sense that we're not constantly scraping for funds. I do have to say, God has always provided for us, we've never been without when we needed something. I don't desire the things of the world, but I do desire to not have to worry when the next time I can grocery shop will be.
Sorry if this entry is such a downer, I really didn't mean it to be ... it's just this scenario has really been on my heart a lot lately and I wish I knew how to fix it for us, but it boils down to I can't have cake and pie, I have to choose.
I love you ECT.
I just continue to pray that when we move, Dad will be paid more than enough that I can stay home.... It's not like I really bring much in now anyways, but it stinks that money is so tight for us. I don't want you to grow up like that. I want you to be financially secure in the sense that we're not constantly scraping for funds. I do have to say, God has always provided for us, we've never been without when we needed something. I don't desire the things of the world, but I do desire to not have to worry when the next time I can grocery shop will be.
Sorry if this entry is such a downer, I really didn't mean it to be ... it's just this scenario has really been on my heart a lot lately and I wish I knew how to fix it for us, but it boils down to I can't have cake and pie, I have to choose.
I love you ECT.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
My Selfish Heart
I've been a bad mother and I did it so I wouldn't hurt. I pushed you away because I thought "maybe if I don't spend time with you, I won't be attached, then when I go to work I won't feel so bad about leaving you". I was telling myself that you didn't know me because I was always working and never with you anymore. I lied to myself to keep me from hurting and in turn I hurt you.
Yet, when I realized that I was being selfish and was essentially hurting you more, you took me back with open arms. You accept me with all my fears, faults, and failures with your simple, yet beautiful smile.
Ethan Clyde, I truly love you more than you can imagine. Nothing will ever change that. I'm sorry for my selfish heart. I still don't want to leave you and I hate the fact that I will have to get a second job to bring in money for us, but I do it for you. Don't ever stop smiling at me.
Yet, when I realized that I was being selfish and was essentially hurting you more, you took me back with open arms. You accept me with all my fears, faults, and failures with your simple, yet beautiful smile.
Ethan Clyde, I truly love you more than you can imagine. Nothing will ever change that. I'm sorry for my selfish heart. I still don't want to leave you and I hate the fact that I will have to get a second job to bring in money for us, but I do it for you. Don't ever stop smiling at me.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
3 Months
You are 3 months old today. I can't believe how much life has changed in those three months.
We went from a two person family doing as we pleased, to a three person family with our lives - especially mine - revolving around you.
That first month I'd spend every waking moment with you - and pretty much every sleeping moment as well. It got to the point where I had to say no and make your dad keep you for awhile so he could get used to doing things for you as well and I could catch some real sleep every now and then.
By the second month we had a routine down. You were able to sleep in your crib, you were on an eating schedule - 4 times a day and maybe once during the night. We took you out places and could feel a little more free with you. You began talking to us. You smiled whenever we talked to you. You found your hands and they found your tongue. You learned to laugh.
I can't begin to explain the joy you've brought our household. Your father and I find ourselves laughing in the middle of an argument because you decided to speak up. We find joy in the little things you do.
People already brag about you. I try to keep my head small from it all, but it's hard to not feel so much pride about how you're such a great baby. It makes having another child scary because what if they aren't as easy as you? We've truly been blessed by you Ethan Taylor. I pray that you can continue to bless those around you as you grow older.
We went from a two person family doing as we pleased, to a three person family with our lives - especially mine - revolving around you.
That first month I'd spend every waking moment with you - and pretty much every sleeping moment as well. It got to the point where I had to say no and make your dad keep you for awhile so he could get used to doing things for you as well and I could catch some real sleep every now and then.
By the second month we had a routine down. You were able to sleep in your crib, you were on an eating schedule - 4 times a day and maybe once during the night. We took you out places and could feel a little more free with you. You began talking to us. You smiled whenever we talked to you. You found your hands and they found your tongue. You learned to laugh.
I can't begin to explain the joy you've brought our household. Your father and I find ourselves laughing in the middle of an argument because you decided to speak up. We find joy in the little things you do.
People already brag about you. I try to keep my head small from it all, but it's hard to not feel so much pride about how you're such a great baby. It makes having another child scary because what if they aren't as easy as you? We've truly been blessed by you Ethan Taylor. I pray that you can continue to bless those around you as you grow older.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Christmas Without Santa
Originally when you dad first proposed this idea to me I was against it. What's Christmas without Santa. The traditions of cookies out. The songs and stories. The anticipation of waiting for Christmas Morning.
I always thought I'd just talk him out of it - or do what I normally do and just do what I want anyways :P but the more I thought about it, and the more we talked about it after you were born and we were preparing for your first Christmas, I began to realize how wrong my thinking really was.
Christmas isn't about Santa and the gifts we get from him. It certainly isn't about lying to you to give you more gifts (which I've realized I would be horrible at lying to you about it and would most likely tell you he wasn't real anyways lol). Christmas is about a gift, the best gift anyone could ever receive, and it was given to you not by your father and me, but by your Heavenly Father. It's the gift of a little baby who would one day grow up to die for you so you could have new life and be with God for all eternity.
I've realized that this is truly what I want you to focus on as you grow up. I want God to be at the forefront of your life, especially when He really is the reason for this season. I hope your dad and I can imitate that lifestyle for you as well.
Oh, and please try not to ruin Santa for other people as you grow up. Everyone likes their traditions, and it's a big one to many people. Instead use your faith and belief in Jesus to share with them the true meaning of Christmas. We love you Ethan Clyde and only want the best for you.
I always thought I'd just talk him out of it - or do what I normally do and just do what I want anyways :P but the more I thought about it, and the more we talked about it after you were born and we were preparing for your first Christmas, I began to realize how wrong my thinking really was.
Christmas isn't about Santa and the gifts we get from him. It certainly isn't about lying to you to give you more gifts (which I've realized I would be horrible at lying to you about it and would most likely tell you he wasn't real anyways lol). Christmas is about a gift, the best gift anyone could ever receive, and it was given to you not by your father and me, but by your Heavenly Father. It's the gift of a little baby who would one day grow up to die for you so you could have new life and be with God for all eternity.
I've realized that this is truly what I want you to focus on as you grow up. I want God to be at the forefront of your life, especially when He really is the reason for this season. I hope your dad and I can imitate that lifestyle for you as well.
Oh, and please try not to ruin Santa for other people as you grow up. Everyone likes their traditions, and it's a big one to many people. Instead use your faith and belief in Jesus to share with them the true meaning of Christmas. We love you Ethan Clyde and only want the best for you.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Separation Anxiety
I hate that I feel like I don't know you. You've changed so much in the time I've gone back to work and I hate not spending those minutes with you.
You talk.
You laugh and smile.
You're moving your hands more and opening them up as if to grasp things.
You sleep through the night so perfectly, like the little angel you are.
I hate that I don't get my mom time with you. I loved every minute I had with you right after you came home. You used to cuddle up with me - you kept me warm! :) Now it seems like the only time I can spend with you is your evening feeding and then it's off to bed. Don't get me wrong - I cherish that moment because it's all I get with you, I just wish it was more.
The things you are able to do as a 2 month old amaze me. I'm so proud of you already and I pray that you continue on in your success.
Boy, you hold a bigger part of my heart than I ever thought possible.
You talk.
You laugh and smile.
You're moving your hands more and opening them up as if to grasp things.
You sleep through the night so perfectly, like the little angel you are.
I hate that I don't get my mom time with you. I loved every minute I had with you right after you came home. You used to cuddle up with me - you kept me warm! :) Now it seems like the only time I can spend with you is your evening feeding and then it's off to bed. Don't get me wrong - I cherish that moment because it's all I get with you, I just wish it was more.
The things you are able to do as a 2 month old amaze me. I'm so proud of you already and I pray that you continue on in your success.
Boy, you hold a bigger part of my heart than I ever thought possible.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Morning Person
If you had met me in high school, you'd know I'm not a morning person.
If you had met me in college you'd know I'm not a morning person - in fact you'd probably think I was nocturnal.
If you had met me in my first year of marriage, you'd know I still did not enjoy mornings, although I saw a lot more of them then.
Once I met you, I learned what mornings were all about. I'd rather go to bed at 10 and get up at 6 then stay up all night long. I'd rather wake up and start the day with you.
Ethan Clyde Taylor, you have changed me in so many ways it's indescribable. These are good changes too, you have made me become a better person. You've taught me lessons I think God's been trying to get through to me forever - like how to have patience and not be self-centered. You really are a gift from God. He knew exactly what He was doing - like He always does :) - when He gave me you.
I love you son.
If you had met me in college you'd know I'm not a morning person - in fact you'd probably think I was nocturnal.
If you had met me in my first year of marriage, you'd know I still did not enjoy mornings, although I saw a lot more of them then.
Once I met you, I learned what mornings were all about. I'd rather go to bed at 10 and get up at 6 then stay up all night long. I'd rather wake up and start the day with you.
Ethan Clyde Taylor, you have changed me in so many ways it's indescribable. These are good changes too, you have made me become a better person. You've taught me lessons I think God's been trying to get through to me forever - like how to have patience and not be self-centered. You really are a gift from God. He knew exactly what He was doing - like He always does :) - when He gave me you.
I love you son.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)