23rd Birthday

I had my 23rd birthday two days ago. That's how old I'll be when I have you. Going off my schedule, I'm only two years late, but I'm still happy with how things have gone in life. I don't think I would change them. I always wanted to have kids young because I always felt like the reason my mother and I weren't close was because there was such a huge gap between us. She was 39 when she had me. I didn't want that to be the case. Granted, we are much closer now that I've grown and moved out and become an adult living her own life, but I still feel like I missed out on something by not having a close, happy relationship most of my life with her.

It's weird, having this birthday. I almost didn't want to focus on it. Like it's not even important. You have consumed my world in so many ways. I want people to be obsessed with you like I am, that you should be their world like you are mine.

The doctor reminded me, 12 more weeks. That seems like such a short time, of course if you say 3 more months that seems longer! But I still can't believe I'm in my last trimester with you. I look at myself and I can't believe it's that far, it doesn't seem possible, you don't seem big enough looking on the outside.

I love you Ethan, more than you know.