Christmas Without Santa

Originally when you dad first proposed this idea to me I was against it. What's Christmas without Santa. The traditions of cookies out. The songs and stories. The anticipation of waiting for Christmas Morning.

I always thought I'd just talk him out of it - or do what I normally do and just do what I want anyways :P but the more I thought about it, and the more we talked about it after you were born and we were preparing for your first Christmas, I began to realize how wrong my thinking really was.

Christmas isn't about Santa and the gifts we get from him. It certainly isn't about lying to you to give you more gifts (which I've realized I would be horrible at lying to you about it and would most likely tell you he wasn't real anyways lol). Christmas is about a gift, the best gift anyone could ever receive, and it was given to you not by your father and me, but by your Heavenly Father. It's the gift of a little baby who would one day grow up to die for you so you could have new life and be with God for all eternity.

I've realized that this is truly what I want you to focus on as you grow up. I want God to be at the forefront of your life, especially when He really is the reason for this season. I hope your dad and I can imitate that lifestyle for you as well.

Oh, and please try not to ruin Santa for other people as you grow up. Everyone likes their traditions, and it's a big one to many people. Instead use your faith and belief in Jesus to share with them the true meaning of Christmas. We love you Ethan Clyde and only want the best for you.

Separation Anxiety

I hate that I feel like I don't know you. You've changed so much in the time I've gone back to work and I hate not spending those minutes with you.

You talk.
You laugh and smile.
You're moving your hands more and opening them up as if to grasp things.
You sleep through the night so perfectly, like the little angel you are.

I hate that I don't get my mom time with you. I loved every minute I had with you right after you came home. You used to cuddle up with me - you kept me warm! :) Now it seems like the only time I can spend with you is your evening feeding and then it's off to bed. Don't get me wrong - I cherish that moment because it's all I get with you, I just wish it was more.

The things you are able to do as a 2 month old amaze me. I'm so proud of you already and I pray that you continue on in your success.

Boy, you hold a bigger part of my heart than I ever thought possible.