Preparing for Motherhood

I think one of the most difficult things about being pregnant and getting ready for Ethan hasn't been the pregnancy and it's symptoms, picking out colors and themes, doing a registry, or any of that stuff. The most difficult thing - for me at least - has been re-evaluating myself and seeing my faults as a human and trying to work through them so that when he has arrived then maybe I can be somewhat of a stable human being. But then again are we ever really all that stable?? heh

I feel such a deep desire to bring closure to certain things that happened in high school/early college between friends, but yet I don't know where to begin - or maybe I do, but I'm just too chicken. I feel a strong desire to bring our family closer to God in any ways possible, I want my son to grow up knowing God but not having it shoved down his throat at the same time.

I worry about him as a PK, knowing life in the ministry isn't easy - it's hard just being the preacher's wife let alone the preacher! But I think PK's are given higher expectations because of who their parents are, just like million dollar CEO kid's have that expectation to live up to their parent - or be greater. I don't want him to feel pressured in any way, I want him to be who he is, live his life how he desires, but I want him to make the right choices and to know what the right choices are. I don't think I'd be where I am today if I hadn't of been free to screw up like I did. My parents brought me up in the church and I always knew right from wrong, but I had to learn and fall down to get to this place.

I guess this is where Motherhood starts ... when worry sets in before it's even possible to do anything about it, lol.